I was staying at home alone while my friends were studying for college entrance exam. I squatted myself down on the couch with empty eyes. I wanted to turn on the radio, but I was afraid to do so. It would make me weak. The silence broke my heart.
I was shivering. I badly wanted anyone to come, but I was alone. Parents thought I was just stressed. However, I knew I was not all right. I couldn’t believe the existence of the world. I tried and tried to prove it, but I kept failing.
In the evening, parents came. I acted a nice daughter with a heart filled with disbelief. I couldn’t explain the way I felt to them, because I was doubting their existence.
It took me some three years to get it over. During the time I stalked two people on-line. I still hurts my heart. People would not understand me, but I just wanted to be saved by them.
