It started when I was young. When I was young I would imagine schizophrenia things. Like I would think I was the most important person in the world, television cameras would follow me around, or people would be following me around when I was with my dad travelling, or people could hear my thoughts when I was in a buffet eating, that that caused me to self-importanfy myself a lot and talk to myself in my brain a lot or write diaries that were quite useless In class.
When I reached middle school I was starting a new life in Taiwan with my dad. This was hard because I didn’t know that language that well and everything was in Chinese. I got depression, and started to have delusions about my classmates and my teacher. I would think things like I could think of a jiggly African man and my classmates would laugh, those people are special like me, those teachers are weird they seem special, or my teacher is the best person in the world. She is like qui-gon in star wars and makes it seem like she cares about me imaginary a lot or is really interested in me. When I went to camps in America or school in America as I later realized, It seemed like she was in other people looking or interacting at me.
When I started high school, things were ok the first year. There was only a girl by the name Lisa that I thought was my teacher. The rest of the kids some were just special like they were like Kim possible on the Disney movies or had a secret code since they were special with the teacher. The second year I discovered I was in Lisa’s class like three of them, and I was excited because she seemed like a teacher. Then when I moved out of those classes I only had two. Because in the beginning we were placed into the same groups and the behind each other. I was excitable, but as I switched classes because of math, I discovered I wanted to be with her. So I started to hear voices of her and her new found psychologist kid friend and another Asians very capable friend in another class while I was in my class away from them. This started it all, and before I knew it I was hearing voices, laughing in front of others for no reason, talking to myself at times when was with Lisa and her friends.
My teacher caught this and you guys know the rest of the story.
I went to a psychologist she caught on sent me to a psychiatrist who told me to eat medicine but I refuse since I didn’t believe I have a problem. Later I was having really bad fights with my mother, so once before a meeting with a real psychologist I kicked the window of my mother’s car and it broke. The police came for me and spent me to the psy hospital. I was under 18 then so it was better a youth psychiatric hospital. I spent two weeks there the most you can spend unless you had a really bad problem. But I also had the worst psychotic episode of my life that set the basics for today. I discovered people were trying to get me out, there were angels, my teacher, my two friends Brian and Amy, and my dad who sneakily went around in people making me guess and then I was wrong and right etc, people commenting on my every move and thought, nurses not being who they were, one nurse not as they should in real life I once, looking back and forth at the nurses station making me feel like
as If they were helping me, or there were real people whatever that meant, and people in movies and radios etc. I was totally out of it at the hospital but I didn’t tell anyone for fear that if I told my symptoms would get worse , and plus I could handle it.
Two more school years had pass since my hospitalization. The other time I was hospitalized was for no reason just a argument with my mother. I just passed my time and got out of it. But school went on, and my life became weirder as the people I imagine were in other people. I once imagine them, kissing in front of me, in real people who were kissing!! That was really stupid and embarrassing. Even to today it is still like this. There are people in other people anywhere I go following me, and living with me day to day, etc.
