I am 22 year old and I have 2 married sisters and one single bro .I’m the youngest among siblings and all of them are living abroad.
My Mom is schizophrenic since even before the birth of my eldest sis who is now 34 year old. I don’t know how it all happened tht Mum got schizophrenic after she got married. I could never ask my dad and my sis neither ever told me how mum came into this disease.(Maybe she herself doesn’t know)
She takes medicines to cure the disease and these medicines she has been taking for almost about 15 years.These medicines I give her in the morning and before going to bed and she doesn’t know that am giving her these medicines. She is diabetic and hypertensed too and when I give her the medicines advised by the psychiatrist so long ago , I tell her that these are for diabetes and hypertension. If I ever told her that these were given by a psychiatrist then she would never take them.After taking these medicines she sometimes does feel normal for a few hours but then again soon starts shouting and screaming .In the begining she was taken by her parents to doc to get shocks which did help but mum didn’t agree to continue havin those shocks. Even now whenever I tried to take her to a psychiatrist she refuses to go. Even if she agrees to go yet she doesn’t take any shots or medicines they advise. All this has made my life terrible. I have no confidence to face people as mum acts so weird
before people . She yells all the time at home and dad also gets disturbed with it . she gets hallucinations as in she talks to someone while looking at walls or somewhere in the air. i can’t invite my friends at my place , I can’t talk to anyone so regularly on phone because her shouts are echoing all the time in the house. I have to spend most of my time with mom, no other activities , no fun.The building we live in has another family too whom i can’t meet or befriend with because they’re gonna ask me why ur mum acts so weird, because people here laugh at someone acting like this rather than helping. It’s so embarrassing for me when mum screams at the unseen character and the other family does notice it am sure.
Even when mum watches TV dramas, she associates all the stories to herself. For example if she sees a girl being murdered in a drama then she’ll assume tht this girl is she herself and then would worry that the unseen character is gonna kill her.
There is a lot , a lot, a lot to say. And I never share this thing with anyone. Don’t even have close friends cuz then they’re gonna ask me to let them visit me which is not possible because mum would keep yelling , how’m i gonna stop her shouting.
I think I have to live with it.
always_worried@yahoo.com
