Schizophrenia Diaries

My sister suffers from schizophrenia for 14 years now. It all started when she was in her high school. Suddenly i noticed that she is going lonely, depressed and sad, always thinking something. she stopped playing with me. She did not tell anyone, not to our parents either, about what she is really experiencing. All that she was telling with my father was she was scared. I did not know, what was scaring her. But she was going down in her academics too. she used to be one of the brilliant students, always topped in her class till then, but now she got lesser marks. But we can see her studying more hard. Later, one day she asked my father(a physician) to take her to a psychiatrist(my father’s friend). And my siter was taken to NIMHANS which is very famous for psychiatric treatment and where my father’s friend worked in. She got some medicines to take for a temporary period. After coming back, she looked lot more rlieved and i thought she is out of her problem. Though i didnt know that time about her sickness, or whats her problem was.
But later in time, we happened to lose our mom. My mom comitted suicide for she had some problem in life and she was in depression too. This i came to know very late. This had a devastating effect on all of us. My sister was suffering with her illness, she had become inactive and witdrawn. Not mingling with people, not talking much wiht people, not even with us. Then she was juggling with her studies, medicines and all other things in the family. She was worried about me and my brother as we were younger than her. She used to say she heard voices og neighbours. She was hearing them talking bad about us. She heard them speaking bad words and that they wouls harm us. In retaliation she started having qurrels with our neighbours and it was difficult for me and my brother to step outside of our home, as our neighbours were looking at us suspiciously in a wierd manner.
My sister’s wild behaviour was increasing and she was torturing my father very much. I stayed in a hostel in bangalore while my family stayed in Tumkur. I used to visit them on weekends. Just two days in a week i used to go there, but was unable to stand my sister’s acts. She was like doing everything that comes on her mind, however strange that may be. I was suggesting my father to admit her to a hospital. But it was difficult to convince her to come to the hospital. She was shouting and behaving like a wild animal. Somehow my father convinced her and came to Bangalore to admit her.
Here, one other person should stay with the patient to take care of their treatment. I was the only one available as all other relatives were in Tumkur. I hated to stay there, but still entered the hospital. My sister was shouting and behaving very wildliy that time. The Hospital staff had to sedate her initially and she slept. And the next few days were like hell to me as i had started hating her for her behaviour. She also hated me and she was ready to hurt me if she gets a chance. She thought i was the one who made her get admitted in the hospital. After 2 weeks, it was very difficult for me to stay there, i could not withstand that vry environment. My sister calmed down there just because she was not allowed to go anywhere and was forced to take medicines on time. She wanted to go out of the hospital. So she started responding to all the doctors in a positive way and she was discharged. I went back to my PG and i was still scared to vivit my home.
But after this, my sister has managed to control herself amidst all those voices she hears. She has come out of her depression too and she passed her graduation as well. Now she is working somewhere in bangalore. She got married too. All that i can do now is to hope for the best and pray that it never relapses.