Schizophrenia Diaries

I had a illness as a child. I had to deal with diabeates and it was disturbing to me as a young person my life was disrupted. I became religious at a young age and precocoius. I do not know when it was I began to feel gay or sexual confused..

I was also creative. My mother did not know abut my agressions. or my reactions to being a diabetic.. I also liked in school to coerce people to target persons I was jelous of or had things I did not. I was a manipulator. In life I had visions of witch craft and occult . I was a what u call a gay bully type..

I grew up a born again christian at age 9.

I was not very athletic , or other. I had alot of friends. There were people I wanted to hurt, and to be evil to. I felt I could see things others could not.
This would make me do things and feel I was invincible. ig to to art school and got a job in a gallery I continued to want to target others. and be the agressor… I had trouble with drugs and alchol. and other delusions and over sexual expreiences multiple sex parenters and unsafe male sex.. heoroin cocaine..

I also had some female enconters. but had trouble with woman and men.. I was jelous of people who did not have my conditons and were musical. I was not a musical person. I was a creative person though and it made me friends and got me a job at a gallery..

Eventualy I was able to drive one girl into a mental hospital. I liked to indulge in my psychic insights, it allowed me to intimidate persons who I felt were unstable or fearful in unstable lives. I had a large group of friends and no one realy questinoed me but one person. Who was clean and sober with none of my problems who had my number. and was not afraid of me. eventuly this person was also driven into a state of madness.

I would have paranoid delusions at parties and also chase famous people around the art scene.. one day in my job I crashed and my boss had to talk to me. I reminded me of micheal alig and the club kids.

Now I make jewlery no one ever questioned my crimes or what things I did under the influences. some of them face uncertain lives.. and probaby sad deaths. I go on. I live in a rent stable apartment I got away from a girl who just happend to become heroin addicted. I live comfortable and could not without this place… I do sell jewelry and have connections.