My name is John Joseph Walsh the third. I live in New York City. This city that never sleeps. And I don’t sleep. And it sucks. I spend my time studying and researching different things on the internet. I’ve been constantly studying different forms of martial arts. When the sun is out me and my friends will go to the park and beat the shit out of each other until we’re sore and tired. Sometimes I go for so long I can even fall asleep. It’s painful and therapeutic and wonderful but it also makes me angrier then I already am. And I’m a very angry person. Sometime I get so over whelmed by my emotions that I retract into this place in my head and i space out and draw pictures of my thought. The image that always comes out is cartoon like and obscure. It always starts off with 3 clouds. These 3 clouds always have different facial expressions and there is one giant lightning bolt erupting from the center cloud. On top of the clouds is a giant snowy mountain. Sometimes the mountain has
different monsters crawling on them. On the top of this mountain is a gothic castle. There is two stone pillars on the sides of the building and a giant wooden door in the middle of the castle. on top of the castle is a giant pointy watch tower. Within this watch tower is a circle table and at this table are 8 different demons that control my mind. Over the castle is a fool moon with a face that laughs at me constantly. These demons control everything I do and sometimes when I’m under the influence I scream and have fits about them and I trash around and break and hurt people. I’d say this is a problem but quite frankly I love it.
Posts Tagged ‘visions’
I am 16 years old. A diagnosed schizophrenic. I have been to the hospital 3 times already for suicidal thoughts. The second time I went was when i found out that i had the disease. When I ususually have gone, the doctors have all tried hurting me to help me. Pills are gross. I slept a lot there. Everybody laughed at me. Theire help did not help much yet. I wish it had. This stinks being a schizo. Scary.
Sometimes the room im in will turn all red and blood slowly will drip from ceiling and floor. Sometimes I’ll feel crawling centipedes all over me. People will touch me and not be there. The smells are disgusting. Vomit. Burning rubber. Pee. Poop. Sometimes every stinky smell in the world all at once.
I can see the future. Think something and it happens. The voices screech at me trying to wreck me. Make me miserable. I dont know where those demon voices come from. The people voices, either. All kinds of voices at once. Its a nightmare. They tell me everyone hates me. Everyone in the world is coming together and poisoning me.
Thats why i dont take drinks. Because the poision is in there. Somewhere. At the top. At the bottom. People think us schizophrenics are just crazy. We’re not crazy. We just dee things differenly than them. We arre suffering. Suffering. Suffering….
